Are those who visit from outside Southern California truly ready to traverse our fast and furious freeways?
If you have out-of-town guests planning on visiting you this summer, it might be helpful if you pass along this quiz to them before they embark on their journey. I like to call it the "Southern California Freeway Readiness Quiz."
1) When someone is trying to exit the car-pool lane or make a lane change, you should:
A) Immediately close the gap between you and the car in front of you so that they don't have a rat's chance of getting in.
B) Pretend that you don't see the turn signal flashing on the other car and immediately close the gap between you and the car in front of you so that they don't have a rat's chance of getting in.
C) All of the above.
2) When there is an accident that causes serious backups on the freeway you are driving on, you should:
A) Drive on the shoulder until you get to the next off-ramp because the rules of the road no longer apply when you are inconvenienced.
B) Use sign language to express your frustrations to the other drivers around you.
C) Call your therapist and have them talk you through it.
3) Please check all activities that you are skilled at performing while driving:
A) Eating
B) Applying make-up or shaving
C) Talking on a cell phone
D) Texting on a cell phone
E) Applying cellulite treatment to your thighs
F) Tanning
4) Choose the statement that best describes the speed limits on Southern California freeways:
A) It is a well-known fact that speed limit signs are created by Caltrans at a speed 15 mph less than what they actually expect you to drive.
B) The speed limit signs are not generally obeyed in Southern California; they are considered to be more like "guidelines."
5) When driving behind someone on the freeway you should:
A) Get as close as possible to the car in front of you so that they grow to despise you and move out of the way.
B) Get as close as possible to the car in front of you so no one else can get their car in front of yours and arrive at their destination a fraction of a millisecond before you.
C) Stay as far back from the car in front of you as possible, because there is a very good chance that the driver in front of you is armed.
Those of us who drive in Southern California might contemplate the following as we review this quiz: In every nugget of humor there lies a kernel of truth.
Michelle Pearl is a longtime traffic-school instructor and the owner of InterActive Traffic School Online, www.trafficinteractive.com. Send questions to drivetime@dailybulletin.com or write to DriveTime, c/o the Inland Valley Daily Bulletin, PO Box 4000, Ontario, CA 91761. Some reader questions will be answered in print.
