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A spoonful of sugar… and a reduced fine

When is a $1,600 fine for driving without insurance not a $1,600 fine?

When you attend the traffic arraignment court of Commissioner Ronald J. Gilbert in Rancho Cucamonga and the fine for your citation is reduced to the rock-bottom price of $331.

And as an added bonus, you might be surprised to find that you leave court having had a good laugh, as well.

Arraignment court is in essence the equivalent of medical triage.

The commissioner sorts out cases by those who plead guilty, those who request traffic school, and those who plead not guilty and need to have their case heard on another day.

Commissioner Ronald Gilbert entered a courtroom that was silent with apprehension. He sat down at the bench and promptly addressed the more than 200 traffic offenders present with a hearty and joyous, "Good afternoon!" When the surprised crowd came back with a weak, "Good afternoon," Gilbert promptly chastised them with a huge grin on his face. "That was, well, kind of pathetic!"

Giggles filled the astonished courtroom, which promptly responded with a more enthusiastic reply.

Gilbert then warned those present that he tended to speak very, very quickly.

He chuckled as he cautioned, "I've got the staff working very hard to keep up with my mouth."

He then explained that when a defendant was called, they were to come in the swinging gate-like door on the right of the courtroom and exit through the door on the left when they were finished.

Gilbert clarified this instruction by saying, "You go in the front door, then you go out the back door. If you don't, I have to warn you, you may be shot."

The first case addressed was the only one which was being represented by an attorney. When the attorney asked when the agreed-upon fine was to be paid, Gilbert immediately quipped, "How about yesterday?" - to which the laughing attorney replied, "Wow, then I guess that she is already in violation!"

Then, Gilbert proceeded to go through the hundreds of remaining cases stacked in lemon-yellow folders on his bench at the speed of sound.

Before the commissioner had arrived, the bailiffs had suggested that anyone who was facing mandatory jail time for an offense such as having a blood-alcohol content over .015 or driving with a suspended license, might want to plead not guilty so that they could deal with the consequences (and possibly reduced fines and penalties) at a pretrial hearing on another day.

Otherwise, defendants who pleaded guilty to those charges would be taken to jail immediately.

When a defendant with an offense that warranted mandatory jail time stammered with confusion when it was his turn to plead, Gilbert spoke slowly as he lowered his gaze and asked, "You want to plead not guilty, RIGHT?"

One flustered defendant learned quickly that no one was to approach the commissioner's bench.

When he made the mistake of attempting to walk up to the bench to hand paperwork to the commissioner, a bailiff jumped in between to intercede, to which the commissioner joked, "You better stay back. They've got these new Tasers and they want to see how they work!"

Apparently Commissioner Ronald Gilbert has taken a lesson from that legendary optimist, Mary Poppins. He has found that a spoonful of sugar can make the medicine go down - in the most delightful way.

Michelle Groh-Gordy is the owner of InterActive! Traffic School Online at www.trafficinteractive.com , and writes a syndicated weekly column on driving for the publications of the Los Angeles Newspaper Group.